This painting is one of only two portraits I have ever painted. A portrait? you ask.

Consider that it is not only our eyes that see. Has anyone ever told you that they see you? No- not that kind of see.. but that they really SEE you inside and outside! See into you. Understand you. Acknowledge you. Accept you. Support you. Feel for you, even love you. This is the kind of seeing I am talking about.

Think about the English word ‘intimacy’. Google’s explanation of the origins of the word:

Intimacy- Into me see. Get it?

When I say that I have painted a portrait, this is the type of seeing which I have used to paint it. Seeing the inmost character and qualities of a person and painting that which is inside them. Why?

Why do it that way? Because that is the most important part of a person. Because to really see someone, to try to understand someone, is the best compliment you can pay them. It is an expression of love. Most of time a person’s appearance hides many of the most defining things about them.

And despite my love of photography, I don’t do superficial very well, when it comes to working from the heart. Maybe this will change someday- but it’s how it is now.

The person in this particular portrait is vibrant and expressive on the outside, but also deep and guarded. Smooth in social interactions yet sharply logical. Appears always cheerful, but has plunged to the depth of despair and returned, forgiven others for the unthinkable. They are one of the most disciplined people I have ever met, and yet they appear completely carefree, to the untrained eye. They dislike conflict and go to some extremes to avoid it, and might feign ignorance to maintain the peace. They hide inner conflict expertly. They perhaps even take pride inwardly that no one really knows them. It is a defense mechanism with the logic that if no one knows the real me, then noone can reject the real me, therefore I can avoid rejection and pain. Does anyone really know them?

Their layers are many and colorful, charming, elusive, private, reliable, cool under pressure, sometimes obstinate, compliant yet secretly rebellious, playful yet dutiful. Optimistic yet indecisive. Wild in spirit like stallion, yet trapped by many rules they have made for themselves. Most of all this person is warm, yet has felt the cold. It is their most outstanding characteristic that they make others feel loved. Their heart is strong, and has been tested, but still remains kind, and they place other’s needs above their own, often to their own detriment.

The warmth and acceptance they give as a gift to others, they do not quite as generously give toward themselves. Secretly they blame themselves for being ‘not as they should be’. Because of self doubt, how they place high importance on image and they worry about others disliking them. Secretly they scold themselves for not being happy with all that they have built over time. They seem proud for the way they provide for everyone’s the needs, yet the burden is heavy and they long for a freedom they do not afford themselves. This person’s greatest weakness is their inability to trust themselves, and their emotions. They automatically categorize certain emotions as bad because acting on those emotions can lead to rejection. Rejection is this persons greatest fear, and their greatest block to living an authentic and fullfilling life. They do not see that fear of rejection causes indecision, which leads to life passing them by while they do their best to keep their life looking the same on the outside. While inside they whither away.

So, in a nutshell, this painting represents all the things that I know and feel and see about the subject. And this painting is a representation of their energy, vibe, presence, history, gifts, shortcomings, joy, pain, and dreams all rolled up with elements of my own perception, and the connection between that person and I. Ta-da! Personally, I think they are beautiful. They are human. And the power for change is available to them always. Please see that the power is yours and always has been.

This person is a beautiful soul. No one would ever know the sadness they hold inside, which has given them such compassion. It has given them a capacity for forgiveness which is almost unparalleled. If this is you, please know that I see you. I know your heart. I feel your pain, too. I see you.

Title: Il Calore di’Un Abrazzio

Size: 60 x 48in

Completion Date: March 30, 2020